Keep Calm: It’s Not Just a Fad

“Keep Calm and Carry On.”  It’s not just a saying or a mere fad, especially when dealing with certain people and certain situations in your life.

Keep Calm is a way of life.

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Had enough of it already or am I the only one?

“Keep Calm” is important when stuck behind a convoy of geriatric drivers who are putting along at 20 mph in a 45 mph zone, all on their way to bingo.  This happens frequently in my small Nevada city and it drives me absolutely bats.  Take a deep breath and exhale slowly.  Remember: you will get to your destination.  Hopefully, sometime within the next year.

“Carry On” is vital during a zombie invasion.  I’m not sure about the “keep calm” part of the equation.  A certain amount of cool would be helpful, but so would a whole lot of crazy.  Blow up zombies and get the hell outta dodge.  Escaping with an arsenal is highly advisable.  Personally, I already know of a nice, armed cabin in the woods to which I have permission to flee.  For a small fee, I might give you a tip as to its location…

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In case you want: http://www.etsy.com/listing/73401106/zombie-shirt-keep-calm-carry-on-run

“Keep Calm” is necessary when dealing with a three year-old girl.  Every day.  Three year-old girls are darling, devious, sweet, evil, wickedly smart, loving, mean, and extremely talkative creatures.  They are always right.  They are always right.  They are… I think you get it.  Take a deep breath and relax in the knowledge that someday she will rule the earth.  Should you stay calm, she might take pity on you, her peon.

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Keep Calm? Look into my eyes and do my bidding.

“Keep Calm and Carry On” is the only choice when dealing with an (unfriendly) ex– especially when children are involved.  Maintain your cool.  Especially when said ex repeatedly calls you the worst names possible and repeatedly wishes you a horrible death, all due to consequences of their own actions and all due to money.  Nothing else.

If you so choose (as I did), first provide him* with years of patience and understanding.  Let him know that there will be a deadline, fully and clearly explain the repercussions of their neglect so that nothing will come as a surprise, inform him of the exact date you acted upon the deadline, and continue to be polite for the sake of your child.  Keep all email correspondence of aforementioned material and all hate text messages you receive.  They will be handy in the event that you suffer an untimely freak accident.

In other words, if you feel so inclined, go above and beyond that which is truly necessary.  When reality hits your ex and s/he becomes fantastically unglued on you, stay cool.  This was surprisingly easy for me.  Perhaps because of recent events, I fully understand that life is truly unpredictable.  Perhaps because I’m attempting to meditate more often, my adrenaline didn’t kick in one bit.  Perhaps because I no longer love him, I no longer care what he thinks.  Doesn’t matter.  Be like this toad.  He knows how to chill.

prince charming 

“Carry On” and do not feel guilty when you’ve done everything in your power to make life as easy as possible for him for years.  “Keep Calm” as he continues to blame you for all of his woes.  Allow the universe to work it out.  Politely thank him for his time and exit stage left.  Focus on giving your child love and affection.  Focus on living right and being a good person.  Leave the nonsense behind.  

“Keep Calm and Carry On” because it is The Way.

*substitute either gender as I know it works both ways

16 thoughts on “Keep Calm: It’s Not Just a Fad

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  1. There are times it must be hard to keep calm. The first paragraph reminds me of a friend who said if you want to learn patience, try driving a farm tractor with a max speed of 40km/h.

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  2. The British saying Keep Calm and Carry On grew popular during World War II during the German Air Raids. I might add to their saying, “and turn out the damn lights!”
    By blacking out the city, London was spared for the most part.

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  3. If you can examine your mind for long enough by turning off those things which pander to your emotional and psychological needs (music, news, peer-pressure, social activities, something happens. Something familiar. The ego shrinks because the talking about the “I” stops. Time-based fear and emotional over-reactions cease. You become capable of completely being aware and capable in every situation.

    You don’t suffer after because your awareness doesn’t fall into the “I” trap of wallowing in time psychologically. That is freedom.

    Then you become aware of the true nature of the things you have stopped doing, and the motives behind them. At least then if you understand this, you can form a correct view from the correct psychological foundation, even if that means you take your time to decide everything you are about to say and do, and question the motives from this new perspective.

    Even the blog you write is so you can get feedback from others to justify your emotions, and allow you to belong to a group that provides a, what already appears to be a very sensible, level-headed individual, with some similarly level-headed and intellectual response.

    The key to all of our problems is the fact we base or judgements on flawed ego-memory and ego-time comparrisons. They pander to the conditioned tribal weaknesses, fears and intrinsic needs. It is a disgraceful way to expect us to exist when reason and intuition flow from the self.

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