Two weeks of Shift Shop done. I feel stronger and somewhat leaner but slightly irritable. I suppose weeks of no carbs (except small amounts of starchy veggies) can do that to a person. This last week of the program cuts out the starchy veggies, so I’m trying to mentally prepare for that nonsense. I’ve been dedicated and on-point (not even sneaking a bite of mac-n-cheese from Maya’s plate) except for eating one mini-cupcake with no frosting today. So freaking good. Anywho, I’ll post a light run-down of the program and meal plan along with my (hopeful) weight loss and inches lost sometime next week in case anyone is interested. I have zero plans to post my before/after pics. Trust me, you don’t want that until I look like this again:

WP_20150607_003 (2)
Summer 2015 and soon-to-be Winter 2017

I can already tell you right now that my next round will have a modified eating plan that allows for some carbs. My kid doesn’t need Ms. Grumpy Pants for a mom.

Three weeks of zero alcohol as well. A few weeks ago, right before my bbq/pool party for some Portland friends, I decided that after said pool party I would cut alcohol out of my life until 1) I lost all the weight I gained while living in Portland and 2) I finished writing the first draft of my novel, Stupid Cupid.

Why did I decide on the alcohol exclusion, you ask?

Well, here’s a tidbit about myself: I love IPA. I mean, I like red wine as well (and that’s it for me for alcohol), but IPA is my thang.

me swami ipa
yum yum Pizza Port’s Swami’s IPA 

Hoppy, cold, high-calorie IPA. I’ve enjoyed it for a long time, but the past few years of the IPA explosion have been like Christmas to me. Couple that with moving to the craft brewery heaven of the US (breweries within walking distance of my old apartment) and an extended period of outright laziness thanks to the calm comfort of cool, rainy PNW weather (and perhaps a slight bout of depression) and you have a significant weight gain.


The weight gain not only made me physically unhealthy, it murdered my mojo. I am simply not comfortable with my body at this size, even if a potential partner is cool with my ample curves. I feel like a gelatinous blob. I don’t need to have rock-hard abs and a backside you can bounce a quarter off of, but I need to feel like myself again. I’m the only one who can change it, so change it is. I can already feel a shift in the way I carry myself again, so I know I’m s-l-o-w-l-y on my way.

The second part of my alcohol-free period is because I am not a spectacular or profound writer during/after drinking. I can brainstorm while kicking back a cold one, but the actual process of writing is different beast altogether. There are many writers who can pound out fantastic literature while intoxicated. I do not fall into that category. My drunken scribbles are disjointed and only moderately humorous at best. When I can understand them.

My brain has a tendency to wander far too much if I partake in adult beverages. I muse on life and love and what my life will be like five years from now, browse animal shelters looking for a dog to adopt, watch some Grey’s, post stupid stuff to FB, get lost in the Pinterest black hole and imagine all the cool stuff I’m *going* to create, and basically waste a buttload of time. My journaling is pretty damn interesting, I must admit. But journaling won’t pay the bills unless you’re Sedaris.

This may come as a shock to you, but I am not Sedaris.

So, I needed a huge reset, and that’s exactly what I have right now.


Here’s the thing: I don’t miss it much at all. I don’t have a special someone around who also loves IPA, so it wasn’t difficult to drop. It’s not something I need and my life runs perfectly fine without it. It was all about breaking a not-so-great habit and (re)creating a few old good habits. Thus, I’m writing more, exercising, and working toward the future I want.

Cheers to that.







Saturday Goals & Results

Goals for Saturday:

  1. Do not get sucked into Facebookland.
  2. Try not to expel a lung during a coughing fit. (Summer colds are a b*tch.)
  3. Balance checkbook without weeping.
  4. Do not open the cupboards that contain chips and chocolate. Vive la résistance!
  5. Exercise. “But it BURNS MY LEGS.” Do it anyway. Embrace the pain, weeble wobble.
  6. Meditate without falling asleep.
  7. Fold laundry today and not after pushing the “fluff” button for five days.
  8. Work on outline for novel. Your characters are anxious. And you’re getting old.


I failed at #1 before noon but managed to not take the quiz to find out which animal is my other half, so I consider that a partial success.

Both lungs are secure within their proper cavities, although I think I felt chunks of lung tissue exit my body during a coughing fit. Gross, I know.

Finances balanced with two dry eyes. In fact, I had a moment of gratitude. I’m able to pay my bills, which is something that many people cannot do. I would like to see more $$ flowing into my account, I’m not gonna lie.

I’m trying not to think about #4 because if I do, my eyes drift over to the kitchen cupboards…

Shift Shop Saturday workouts completed. That makes week one done. This stuff isn’t easy, either. Solid workouts with a strict meal plan. However, since I needed something to jolt me out of my stupor, I am focused and dedicated. Meals are on-point with no cheats and workouts are done, even while sick. Because I want to be nothing less than a badass. And, you know, fit back into my awesome, currently too-small wardrobe.

I fell asleep. A little. I mean, I had a hypnic jerk and then forced myself to get up, so that’s a pretty good indicator that I fell asleep.

All laundry is done with zero fluff cycles. I feel so grown up right now.

Outline? My favorite place to spread my wings and my note cards:


Excellent Saturday, y’all.