I’m not sure my thought process is similar to other people’s and at times it concerns me. Like today.
We were fortunate enough to have lunch brought in to us today- bowls of cut fruit, a veggie tray, sandwiches, chips and salsa, and (sigh) cookies, the last of which I managed to turn a blind eye. I wandered back into the breakroom sometime around 2:30 when that afternoon yearn for a snack hits and spied some more fruit in the fridge and still more cookies on the counter, with the white chocolate macadamia nut trying to seduce me with its mounds of nuts nestled between bulges of chocolate. My mouth waters thinking about it now. I shook my head no and resisted. There will always be other days, other cookies.
There will be cookies, I thought in my Daniel Day Lewis mind-voice. That’s where it began- this messed-up thought process. In the time it took me to walk from the breakroom to my desk (approximately 43 seconds), this is what I thought (in my Don LaFontaine mind-voice [RIP]):
There Will Be Cookies: In a world where chewy goodness is a rare, but blossoming commodity, one sugar-hungry Cookie Monster will attempt to seize all bakeries in the West and swindle cookie recipes from every single gray-haired granny. His adopted Elmo loses his hearing due to a unfortuante batter explosion that permanently plugs his microscopic ear canals, but Cookie Monster presses on. He encounters opposition from Count Dracula, who wants to count cookies and count more cookies, yet Cookie Monster….
That’s all I had in my head by the time I sat down at my desk, but it was enough to concern me. Maybe my head is in screenplays and can’t get out. I don’t know, but when I think about it, I don’t think this is the first time I’ve had nutzo thoughts like these. I’ll make up other lyrics to songs out of the blue, take one bit of conversation and create an entire story idea, or (like today) take the title of a movie and alter it, creating an entirely different (and frequently bizarre) movie in the process.
Of course, part of me also says that the “there will be cookies” relates to the idea that there is always temptation when you’re focused on achieving a goal. I want to drop a few more pounds, and today cookies, miniature chocolate bars, and a giant box of ferrero rocher chocolates were placed directly in front of my face. I politely declined all. Temptation is everywhere when you suddenly restrict yourself of something, whether it’s the tasty morsel of chocolate right after you cut it out of your diet or the tasty morsel in the cubicle next to you right after you commit yourself to a relationship. However, the thing about temptation is it’s all in your head. Usually you only want it because you tell yourself you can’t have it. That’s when I ask myself: Is it worth your future? I’ve worked so hard to get where I am right now, so is it worth it?
No, it isn’t. It will only create a domino effect and the next thing you know I’ll be struggling again. It’s that way with everything- food, exercise, finances, relationships. You mess up once then say to yourself, well I f*cked that up and you shrug your shoulders at messing up again instead of getting back on track. Well, I’m not messing up. Success feels too damn good.
Er… got a little off track there. All I really wanted to say was…
Please, someone tell me I’m not the only one who does the whole fake movie, goofy lyrics, random story thing.