It’s funny how numbers can evoke strong emotional responses.
Number of pages in my screenplay.
I officially dipped my toes into the cool waters of online dating over last weekend. I had previously contemplated it, but held back for… well, I don’t exactly know why anymore. So, I decided to read the eighty-odd emails I received over the weekend. (Yes, and it seems this is the norm for women.) Let me say, men are most definitely odd creatures. Most of the messages said the same thing: your profile is hilarious! Really? Not: you’re beautiful! Not: you have a gorgeous smile! Nope. I’m funny. I was only being completely straight-forward in my “about me”, so should it concern me that I cracked everyone up instead? I don’t know.
Here’s what I’ve discovered so far: there are a LOT of men in the world. Like, truckloads. It’s overwhelming. Some are very much stuck on themselves, as apparent by their shirtless profile pics (gag- and I don’t care that you have a six-pack, so put a damn shirt on). Some don’t know how to work the photo timer on their digital camera. Some are unfamiliar with English and use terms like LMAO excessively. Some are just plain weird. Here’s my #. Call me. Really? I don’t know you. Give me a break.
Then there are a few- a FEW- who pleasantly surprise. Ones who seem solid, genuine, and nice. Intelligent, capable of witty banter, able to form complete sentences with flair, and funny. Not funny as in a Stooges sort of way, but funny as in a Jon Stewart way. The sort of humor that semi-nerdy girls like me go for. It’s refreshing to say the least.
Now digits have been requested and it makes me nervous. So far, I’ve been somewhat detached. If I give my phone number, then someone will call. A real voice makes it personal. It makes it… well, real. As in I’m putting myself back out there again for real. I know it should be easy for me to do this (especially by now), but it isn’t. Some people move on to others with ease. I don’t.
For me, once I take this step it means The End and I begin a new story. I’m ready to start again, yet… I want to go S-L-O-W. I don’t need someone in my life; I want someone in my life. Huge difference. I’m so busy with work, Maya, Josh, writing, and just plain old life stuff that I don’t know how to do this. I’m not sure how to make it all work. I guess it’s a play-by-ear sort of situation. Of course, it helps when the men have kids, too. I think they understand the whole spare-time situation. Then again, if I meet the right person for me, maybe it won’t seem like a challenge at all.
So… I gave digits and I guess we’ll see what happens. The very least, I’ll make some new friends and get a feeling for this whole dating thing again. I’m not jumping in; I’m wading. I do have date, which is huge for me. A huge baby step.
Whatever is supposed to happen, will. Everything happens with time.