My Just Reward

I’ve never been very successful at achieving my goals or finishing projects.  I am highly successful at starting projects, but seeing them through to completion is another story.  As a single mom who works full time, I don’t always have free time to devote to writing.  It’s difficult enough to carve a chunk of time to exercise let alone indulge in creative endeavors.  Although, I’ve noticed that even when I do have a bit of free time I don’t take advantage of it.  Call it laziness.  Procrastination.  Fear of failure.  Indulging in time wasters instead of prioritizing my time.  I could go on and on, but what it boils down to is a lack of commitment on my part.  There’s a huge difference between wanting a different life for yourself but haphazardly working toward it, and making a commitment with heart and soul to create the life you always envisioned for yourself and your family.

I haven’t been totally committed to creating a future a thousand times more brilliant than the destination of my current path. 

I am now, and since I’ve made that decision everything seems easier because I’m working toward a goal that was once only a dream.  It’s no longer a wish or unattainable aspiration.  Every day my writing progresses without fail.  Today, when all I wanted to do was sleep while Maya was napping, I wrote.  I thought about where I wanted to be a year from now.  Six months from now.  A week from now.  I decided that sleep could wait, but the screenplay could not.  I was rewarded greatly for my tenacity in that I finally figured out how to tie together scenes from the beginning of the screenplay in with the middle and final scenes.  I found a way to make a situation come full circle while keeping the protagonist guessing but the audience in the loop.  It makes me smile.

I’m still not finished outlining Act II and I wanted to have it done this evening, but I’m close.  I need to reassess my goals and alter them slightly because this is going to take slightly longer than I anticipated.  But that’s ok.

Because I’m getting there.  Period.

It’s all about those baby steps, right?

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