Forty

So it is here.  Forty.

A five-mile run.  Yoga.  Coffee brews while I shower.  This is forty with no make-up, hair still wet, wrapped in a goofy bathrobe, as my three year-old dances naked to Of Monsters and Men.

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The other day I listened to a coworker who is also forty tell someone that it was all downhill after thirty.  Thirty.  I thought she was joking, but apparently she was serious.  “I’m old and you’re old, too,” she said.  I laughed in that you’ve-got-to-be-fucking-kidding-me way.  I told her that my thirties were far better than my twenties, and I anticipated my forties to be just as fantastic.  I said that I felt sorry for her if she honestly believed it was all downhill because she has decades left on this earth.

However, she lives like she is old.  She’s my friend and coworker and I love her, but her light is gone.  Once she started believing life was over for her, it was over.  She placed the limitation on herself.

Forget that.  This is forty riding on a kiddie barrel train because her daughter insisted.

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This is forty on Sedona trails.

HOT out here
HOT out here

Showing my girl the joys of hiking.

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Taking in these moments.

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Living, because it’s not downhill by a long shot.

photo by Maya
photo by Maya
photo by Maya
photo by Maya

We are more than a number, yet so many people act as if the number is all that matters.  It’s crazy.  I’m not a number.  I’m a woman.  I’m a mom.  I’m a human being who is constantly evolving.

I have so much more that I want to do.  Increase my yoga practice.  Complete a Spartan Race.  (Tough Mudder was last year.)  Travel.  Finish writing the gawddamn novel.  Be a terrific role model for my daughter.  And I’d love to find a man with whom I can share my life because I have a lot of love to give.

I figure I’ve had four decades to warm up.  Now it’s game time.

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27 thoughts on “Forty

  1. Too right you are! I’ve seen this too, and so, I look the person in the eye and say: “And what am I than at 61? Wake up and live life to it’s fullest and you’ll be as old as you feel!” Great post!

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    1. I have to run. If I don’t, my backside becomes gigantic, creating its own moons, and I can’t fit into my clothes.

      And thanks for the warm welcome. I feel like I’m now part of a secret society.

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      1. I would tell you where to pick up your platinum walking stick and ceremonial false teeth, but if you will insist on taking part in things called “tough murder” I fear they will revoke your membership.

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  2. The same people who tell you forty sucks are the same people who tell you high school is the best four years of your life. I’ve enjoyed my 1.5 years in my 30’s more than I enjoyed all of my 20’s combined. Life just gets better if you allow it to.

    You are AWESOME at 40.

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    1. You are right on the money about the high school thing. High school sucked and my twenties weren’t all that. Thirties were fantastic and my forties are going to be spectacular. I know it.

      And thanks– I FEEL awesome at 40.

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  3. I wouldn’t have guessed you even being 30. Not trying to pay you a silly compliment, either. I just would have pegged you for maybe turning 30. Great job, 40!!

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  4. I remember racing through my thirties. At around forty-four years of age I began telling everyone I was fifty. At fifty-three, I was sixty. Now that I’m sixty, I look too young to claim seventy. It’s as though I’ve caught up with myself.

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  5. Pingback: Arriving at the 2014 Blogging Party Late, As Usual | michelle stodden

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