Hello, 2019

Greetings and salutations, all. I hope this bright and shiny New Year’s Evening finds you happy and well. And hopefully not too hungover.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve found myself on this side of a blog – the writer’s side, that is. The break was intentional as I found myself with scant desire to do much of anything useful, let alone write blog posts that no more than a dozen people might read on a regular basis. The last time I wrote a post was in July of 2017 when I was in the middle of a weight-loss challenge. I lost a significant amount of weight, but then gained it back. My mental and emotional states were not functioning at a high level (or even mediocre level) of well-being. I was terribly stressed and unhappy.

Some people can lose and maintain weight-loss or write novels and screenplays and be creative little bad-asses while they are mentally and emotionally fucked.

I can’t.

At least, not for long periods of time.

I decided that 2018 would be the year I would focus on my inner well-being. Inner only. I wouldn’t obsess about my fat rolls or amble backside. I wouldn’t constantly berate myself for not writing as much as I *should.* I would drop the blog for a while and simply focus on being mentally and emotionally healthy for myself and for my daughter.

Man, what a difference a year can make.

Here’s something I caught today during my “years past” review that I didn’t catch a year ago, despite my initial goal of inner change for 2018: I write in journals on a fairly regular basis, and on January 1st of 2017, I wrote this, “Here we go! New Year, same me, bright new shiny goals!” The problem with the latter sentence is there is no way I would meet my upgraded goals under the management of the same me. I didn’t realize it at the time.

You don’t make significant changes in your life as the same person you’ve always been. You must change. You must evolve. You must step out of your comfort zone, embrace and move beyond your fears, and try to act as the ideal you would act if you want to make your goals and dreams your reality. Period.

I made significant strides in increasing my overall well-being this past year.

  • I read many books – books by Tim Ferriss, Mel Robbins, Marianne Williamson, Brendon Burchard, Thich Nhat Hanh, and many others, from which I gleaned so much useful information that helped changed my life in the small moments from day-to-day.
  • I blew through my fear of applying for a passport (who knew that sort of fear was a thing? more on that in another post) and traveled to Finland and Estonia with my kid. Just wow.
  •  After 4 1/2 years, I saw my son, Josh, who lives in Finland. We stayed with him and his wife Sonja, and I was able meet her family. It was an incredible experience.
  •  I let go of a bunch of garbage that was holding me back, and I stopped chasing down and giving a crap about certain people who constantly lied to me and verbally abused me.
  • I created a solid morning routine to help install a positive mental and emotional framework for each day and I practiced gratitude on a regular basis.
  • I listened to informative, uplifting, and motivational podcasts and youtube videos, such as those by Tim Ferriss, Tom Bilyeu, Lewis Howes, Gary Vaynerchuk, Mel Robbins, and channels such as Be Inspired, Success Archive, Video Advice, and daily Motivation.
  • I stepped out of my comfort zone and had tremendous inner growth.

I don’t make grand resolutions for the New Year per se, but I certainly don’t look down upon people who do make resolutions. Here’s the thing about the New Year: it’s a reminder to all that every single one of us has a reset button. We can pause, take stock of who we are vs. who we need to be to make our visions a reality, and then set ourselves on a path to make it all happen.

Now, some will say that we should do this reset on a daily basis, and I tend to agree; however, we’re all human and we fail. Inevitably. Life gets in the way and that’s okay. Press that reset button any damn time you feel like it. Press it now. Press it again in twenty minutes or in twenty days. If you press it in twenty years, so be it. At least you’re making an attempt to move forward, and I think that’s wonderful. I like to make goals and try to re-evaluate every quarter. I frequently (and I do mean frequently) fail to meet my goals, but I inch closer toward that goal line with small wins than if I refuse to try at all.

trust the process

This past year was a huge win for me in many ways and less so in others. That’s the way it goes. My morning routine is a vital part of my life now and I’ll continue with my inner growth until the day I stop breathing. I’ll always want to be a better human being and the best role model I can be for my impressionable daughter (I’m afraid I might be a little late for my 25 yr old son). I made some fun goals for 2019 like trying a new recipe and reading a book each week. I also made some slightly more serious goals with regard to improving my physical health, figuring out a new budget for the next year, and setting myself back on the writing path. One day at a time.

I trust you’re all shaking off the debris that was 2018 and moving forward into the future with hope, love, and a greater vision for your life and for the lives of others.

You’re going to see much more of me in the future. I look forward to re-connecting with you.

Much love and happiness.

Michelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Hello, 2019

  1. I’ve struggled with writing for the last three or four years (or is it five?). I occasionally put forward reasons why. The distractions the world offers; work drains me, leaving me with little energy at the end of the day; I’m not sure what the reason for writing is anymore; my internal editor won’t shut up; and on and on and on. But, you’ve hit on the real reason, the one I know is true, but that I just don’t generally speak out loud — I’m just not mentally and emotionally strong enough to write these days. There are all sorts of reasons I’m struggling mentally and emotionally, and to acknowledge that is the reason requires some explanation of that reason — which I can’t do publicly. So, I struggle along with it in my head and keep knocking on the door to see if it will open again.

    I like your idea of a morning routine to start the day off right. My morning routine is spending an hour or more in front of a screen, surfing the internet. It’s not the right thing for me to do to change the dynamic. Thank you for your post. It inspires me to get off my ass and try what I know will be better for me.

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    1. I definitely understand the mental and emotional struggle, Mark. Mine was more of a lethargy, if you will. I wasn’t depressed, but I wasn’t happy. I was just…there. Stressed. Not excited about anything. Blah.

      Establishing a positive, screen-free morning routine has helped me more than anything else. I don’t read email, check FB or twitter, or do anything on social media during the first hour of my morning (generally, though sometimes it’s a little less time). I meditate, read, journal, enjoy the silence, and prepare for the day. It took a solid six months for me to truly notice a difference, but now I can’t live well without it and I feel excited about writing again.

      I hope you’re able to find your path through the struggle and come out on the other side stronger and filled with that creative buzz we all crave.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lethargy is a good way to describe it. Lacking energy, I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few years taking the easy way out — which means doing less instead of more, letting the distractions take me away from more challenging things.

        Same too with what you describe about not being happy and just “being there.” Between work stress, which has multiple layers to it, and general dissatisfaction with things going on in my personal life, it can just such a lot out of a person.

        I have wanted for a long time to change my morning dynamic. Weekday mornings, I have that hour which is totally mine. Everybody else is asleep and I can do whatever I want, as long as it’s not too noisy. 😉 I know I should spend that hour on “self-care” things like meditation, yoga, and the like. But again, it’s far too easy to just sit in my recliner and surf the internet for an hour.

        But … I’m going to start tomorrow. Do some meditation, maybe a 10-15 minute yoga routine also. Start turning the page on this. I need to stop wallowing.

        Thank you again for your post.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy New Year, Michelle! So happy to see you blogging again. I hope this year is an amazing one for you.

    If you’re having a shortage of snow, just let me know… 🙂

    Like

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